2 corinthians 12:7-10 (grace before shame)

Shame is not of God. 

This is hard to believe for me. It's hard for me to live by. There are days when my shame is so overwhelming I feel like I have never been worth anything to anyone, ever. 

My shame makes me want to curl up and hide all the ugly parts, the dark moments when I chose my own way instead of God, the days when I care more about my instant gratification than my eternal destination. 

But shame is not of God because it doesn't make me turn to God. It turns me away from him, hardens my prideful heart and weakens my resolve to do better with a "well, I'm only gonna mess up again anyway," lie. 

But still, despite how many times I've messed up, despite the fact that I will continue to do so until my dying day, shame is still not of God. 

Grace is of God. 

Forgiveness, mercy, unconditional love, patience, peace, kindness- these are surely of God, but not shame. 

I have to remember this. We both have to remember this. When we inevitably sin, we must be quick to repent, to turn our hearts back to Him, to ask him to mold our desires to match His own. 

We must accept God's grace every day of our lives- constantly choose Grace over Shame. 

When our guilt rears it's prideful head, insisting that it's greater than our Savior's Grace, nagging us to turn from Him because He never really loved us anyway, we must choose Grace. 

God lavishes his Grace upon us, to draw us near to Him, and to use us for His Glory. 

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 

"And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. 

For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And He said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."