psalms 106- (his love really does endure)

-
Psalms 106: 1-5 
"Praise the Lord!
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! Who can utter the mighty deeds of the Lord,  or declare all his praise?
Blessed are they who observe justice, who do righteousness at all times! Remember me, O Lord, when you show favor to your people; help me when you save them, that I may look upon the prosperity of your chosen ones, that I may rejoice in the gladness of your nation, that I may glory with your inheritance"

God is good. All the time. All the time. He is good. 

This call and response was something frequently used at my church. It's simple and catchy, but the truth of it is staggering. 
I am not good all the time. 
You are not good ALL the time. 
But there is not one moment in life where God is not working and moving and changing all things for good, and remains entirely good himself. 
Tonight I was able to say goodbye to a beautiful, but difficult and draining chapter of my life. 
A chapter that I have felt was done and over with for quite some time, but that God instead had left open, quill poised over parchment, celestial ink millimeters from the page, and me watching in agony as these last pages remained numbingly blank for much too long in my opinion. 
Tonight God wrote the end of this chapter for me. 
It was different and harder than what I wanted it to be. It doesn't make sense in every way, and it is certainly not the outcome I had planned, but something greater than what I wanted was accomplished in all of this, because here I am saying God is good all time, and truly, deeply believing that.
The biggest thing I have learned in the last few months is that sometimes God asks us to move simply to see if we will.
In these last four months it has often been impossible to understand where God was leading me and why. 
But I know that not one night of crying, or one hour of conversation, not one prayer of mine was left unmet or unheard by My God Who Cares For Me Deeply. 
In these last four months I have tried and failed to trust God, but each time I was met with endless Grace pushing me towards Glory. God's Will has been done in this situation. 
The things I have endured have allowed me to build new relationships, go deeper in my faith community, pursue God's direction for my college decision, help others understand heartbreak better, and made me more loving, gracious, and patient than before. (and these are just a few examples of an endless list of God's Goodness) 
God's love was with me the whole time, moving and changing and growing and providing in hereunto unseen ways in my life. 
I am not who I was four months ago.
I am not who I expected to be now, either.
I am broken by God. Bent to His purposes, molded in His Hands, pliable under His Direction. 
His love really does endure, guys. 
It really does. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Brooklyn No. 7

-
 Five years into life here, and I am realizing how tied my soul still is to where I came from.  My sister stayed with me over my birthday. I wanted the week to be less rushed and more rest than previous visits.  We spent hours talking, stretched across my bed that I now share with my husband.  We sat at my worn wood table, legs folded up, hands wrapped around mugs of  peppermint tea,  sipping on sweet memories and  new revelations that are only released through sister serenity.  I felt part of my soul settle in my chest as I listened to her steps  padding down the hallway.  My life blood lives in my sister. It ebbs and flows as time and distance move between us.  We are chinked together with Appalachian blood and a woman's grit on my mom's side,  Catholic liturgy and a steady know-how from my dad.  In a city that values individuality, I rejoice in my similarity--chalk up victory in the cadence of my sister's laugh, and the...
Read more

"Already Ourselves"

-
 "Already Ourselves"  We are  Already ourselves  don't we spend  the rest of our lives reaching back to the stuff of childhood  honesty  hope  passion, untethered  rest  wonder  drive, unfettered  We are already  Who we are Becoming  You don't have to go, so much  as you have to return  Home 
Read more

Brooklyn No. 6

-
We are so addicted to fresh starts.  2023 was not an easy year for me--I experienced my first year of post-grad life, and it was full of the fumbles and bumbles that are the trademarks of your twenties. I started the year with hope of a new job as an assistant editor. I was confident I was going to get my foot in the door at some shiny publishing house in Manhattan and impress everyone by living out my 90s rom-com career.  Andie Anderson made it look so easy in How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days! How hard could it be?  Turns out, it's pretty dang hard. Between writers strikes, hiring holds, publishing house mergers, and a deplorable job market, I acquired an impressive amount of rejection letters.  My fresh-faced, recent grad optimism was lost somewhere between writing my hundredth cover letter and receiving my ninety-ninth rejection.  Aside from entering the work-force, I spent most of my year trying to hold it together as three of my closest friends got married. Th...
Read more