1 Timothy 4:12- (little person, big feelings)

 A few years back, my niece came with my family on a camping trip. She was still pretty young, around six at the time. It would be her first trip without her mom. One night, it had been particularly difficult getting her ready for bed. It was a long day and everyone was hot and exhausted and ready to collapse into their beds. As my niece and I climbed into our shared bunk, she began to cry. I continued to get ready for bed, hoping she would settle on her own. But when it was time to sleep, the tears continued to trickle down her little cheeks. 

"Baby why are you crying?" I asked. 

She sniffled and in a shaky voice replied, "Because I'm a little person with big feelings! And sometimes I need to...to cry!" 

In the moment I had to stifle my laughter at such a proclamation. But years later her words are still with me. 

That's a pretty poignant statement for a six year old. And I think it's true even of big persons also. These days I have so many feelings I don't know what I want anymore. Peace, security, and confidence are a luxury, it seems. I have so many conflicting feelings about people I love, and so many people I love have conflicting feelings. 

Put simply, I'm a mess. 

Put poignantly- I'm a little person with big feelings. 

Tonight I reminded myself that that is okay. If you're anything like me, perhaps you feel yourself buckling under the pressure-- of your family, college, work, relationships, or your own heart beside. It's terrible to feel like you're disappointing others, but even worse to feel like maybe you're disappointing yourself too. If any of this rings true, allow me to remind you that you are not alone. You're not the only one scared silly that you're making the wrong choice, or falling behind, or not living up to your potential... I think all of us worries that sometimes. Truth is. I'm doing my best. I'm trying so hard to make good choices, and have strong relationships and get the right grades. And I'm sure you are too. So let's agree to just rest in that tonight. Rest knowing that you have done what you can, and it is committed to the hand of God. Rest knowing that He holds your hurts in His hands, and that He knows your heart better than you. Rest, knowing that He is proud of you, He's fighting for you, and there is a purpose yet to be seen behind the secret tears. 

You're just a little person with big feelings. And that's perfectly okay. 

1 Timothy 4:12, ESV: "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity."