Brooklyn No. 2

    In the post-grad world, it's easy to be overwhelmed by doubt and anxiety. Doubt of yourself, your abilities, perhaps even your reality. Anxiety about finding that just-right job or a good community or any other number of things there are to be found. 

In the last few weeks, I have been hopeless in the face of these uncertainties, disillusioned by a world that seemed so bright only months before. It felt as though I were merely trudging through existence, growing more and more weary each day. 

My saving grace has been the love of God.  

His Word remained true as lies and doubts filled my mind. Colossians 3:23-24 says, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." 

My God does not care about my job title. He's not worried about me getting promotions or proving to the world that a degree in English has "real world" value. 

He knows what is and isn't important. He guides me to see that too. 

God desires for me to always, and under every circumstance work heartily for His glory. To point others to Him by working hard, with integrity. He asks that I do everything as unto Him, even and especially in this waiting time. He says to be trustworthy in the little, and that perhaps later I might be trusted with more. 

These simple reminders have been a salve to my world-worn soul. A light beckoning me to look beyond this present moment, to the promise of more later on. 

In tandem with these timely reminders, I am also learning that, when everything feels beige and meaningless, I can find value in the smallest delights. When I recall the sweetest memories of my childhood, they are punctuated by tiny details that might've seemed trivial in the moment. 

My grandmother's countertops always held jelly jars filled with fresh-cut flowers from her gardens. 

My best friend's bathroom had this honey-scented soap that I loved the smell of. 

My mom has a collection of snowmen that appear around our house as soon as the weather turns cold. These tiny moments, and countless more, have brought me hope as I work through these weird days. 

I am, of course, still muddling through this world of doubt and anxiety. Every day there seems to be a new wave of the stuff to combat. But if you're soldiering through this tricky time as well, I hope that these simple reminders can bring some peace to you.

Always keep fresh flowers in the house, put an extra sticker on the letters you send, slow down a little on your walk home. 

It's worth it. It's worth everything, in fact.